202 lines
7.6 KiB
TypeScript
202 lines
7.6 KiB
TypeScript
/**
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* @license
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* Copyright 2025 Google LLC
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* SPDX-License-Identifier: Apache-2.0
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*/
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import { useState, useEffect, useRef } from 'react';
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export const WITTY_LOADING_PHRASES = [
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"I'm Feeling Lucky",
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'Shipping awesomeness... ',
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'Painting the serifs back on...',
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'Navigating the slime mold...',
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'Consulting the digital spirits...',
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'Reticulating splines...',
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'Warming up the AI hamsters...',
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'Asking the magic conch shell...',
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'Generating witty retort...',
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'Polishing the algorithms...',
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"Don't rush perfection (or my code)...",
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'Brewing fresh bytes...',
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'Counting electrons...',
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'Engaging cognitive processors...',
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'Checking for syntax errors in the universe...',
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'One moment, optimizing humor...',
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'Shuffling punchlines...',
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'Untangling neural nets...',
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'Compiling brilliance...',
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'Loading wit.exe...',
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'Summoning the cloud of wisdom...',
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'Preparing a witty response...',
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"Just a sec, I'm debugging reality...",
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'Confuzzling the options...',
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'Tuning the cosmic frequencies...',
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'Crafting a response worthy of your patience...',
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'Compiling the 1s and 0s...',
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'Resolving dependencies... and existential crises...',
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'Defragmenting memories... both RAM and personal...',
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'Rebooting the humor module...',
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'Caching the essentials (mostly cat memes)...',
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'Running sudo make me a sandwich...',
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'Optimizing for ludicrous speed',
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"Swapping bits... don't tell the bytes...",
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'Garbage collecting... be right back...',
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'Assembling the interwebs...',
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'Converting coffee into code...',
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'Pushing to production (and hoping for the best)...',
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'Updating the syntax for reality...',
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'Rewiring the synapses...',
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'Looking for a misplaced semicolon...',
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"Greasin' the cogs of the machine...",
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'Pre-heating the servers...',
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'Calibrating the flux capacitor...',
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'Engaging the improbability drive...',
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'Channeling the Force...',
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'Aligning the stars for optimal response...',
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'So say we all...',
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'Loading the next great idea...',
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"Just a moment, I'm in the zone...",
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'Preparing to dazzle you with brilliance...',
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"Just a tick, I'm polishing my wit...",
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"Hold tight, I'm crafting a masterpiece...",
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"Just a jiffy, I'm debugging the universe...",
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"Just a moment, I'm aligning the pixels...",
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"Just a sec, I'm optimizing the humor...",
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"Just a moment, I'm tuning the algorithms...",
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'Warp speed engaged...',
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'Mining for more Dilithium crystals...',
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"I'm Giving Her all she's got Captain!",
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"Don't panic...",
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'Following the white rabbit...',
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'The truth is in here... somewhere...',
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'Blowing on the cartridge...',
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'Looking for the princess in another castle...',
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'Loading... Do a barrel roll!',
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'Waiting for the respawn...',
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'Finishing the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs...',
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"The cake is not a lie, it's just still loading...",
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'Fiddling with the character creation screen...',
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"Just a moment, I'm finding the right meme...",
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"Pressing 'A' to continue...",
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'Herding digital cats...',
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'Polishing the pixels...',
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'Finding a suitable loading screen pun...',
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'Distracting you with this witty phrase...',
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'Almost there... probably...',
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'Our hamsters are working as fast as they can...',
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'Giving Cloudy a pat on the head...',
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'Petting the cat...',
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'Rickrolling my boss...',
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'Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down...',
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'Slapping the bass...',
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'Tasting the snozberries...',
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"I'm going the distance, I'm going for speed...",
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'Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?...',
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"I've got a good feeling about this...",
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'Poking the bear...',
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'Doing research on the latest memes...',
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'Figuring out how to make this more witty...',
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'Hmmm... let me think...',
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'What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh...',
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'Why did the computer go to therapy? It had too many bytes...',
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"Why don't programmers like nature? It has too many bugs...",
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'Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs...',
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'Why did the developer go broke? Because he used up all his cache...',
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"What can you do with a broken pencil? Nothing, it's pointless...",
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'Applying percussive maintenance...',
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'Searching for the correct USB orientation...',
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'Ensuring the magic smoke stays inside the wires...',
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'Rewriting in Rust for no particular reason...',
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'Trying to exit Vim...',
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'Spinning up the hamster wheel...',
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"That's not a bug, it's an undocumented feature...",
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'Engage.',
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"I'll be back... with an answer.",
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'My other process is a TARDIS...',
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'Communing with the machine spirit...',
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'Letting the thoughts marinate...',
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'Just remembered where I put my keys...',
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'Pondering the orb...',
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"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe... like a user who reads loading messages.",
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'Initiating thoughtful gaze...',
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"What's a computer's favorite snack? Microchips.",
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"Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they don't C#.",
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'Charging the laser... pew pew!',
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'Dividing by zero... just kidding!',
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'Looking for an adult superviso... I mean, processing.',
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'Making it go beep boop.',
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'Buffering... because even AIs need a moment.',
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'Entangling quantum particles for a faster response...',
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'Polishing the chrome... on the algorithms.',
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'Are you not entertained? (Working on it!)',
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'Summoning the code gremlins... to help, of course.',
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'Just waiting for the dial-up tone to finish...',
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'Recalibrating the humor-o-meter.',
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'My other loading screen is even funnier.',
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"Pretty sure there's a cat walking on the keyboard somewhere...",
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'Enhancing... Enhancing... Still loading.',
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"It's not a bug, it's a feature... of this loading screen.",
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'Have you tried turning it off and on again? (The loading screen, not me.)',
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'Constructing additional pylons...',
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];
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export const PHRASE_CHANGE_INTERVAL_MS = 15000;
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/**
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* Custom hook to manage cycling through loading phrases.
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* @param isActive Whether the phrase cycling should be active.
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* @param isWaiting Whether to show a specific waiting phrase.
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* @returns The current loading phrase.
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*/
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export const usePhraseCycler = (isActive: boolean, isWaiting: boolean) => {
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const [currentLoadingPhrase, setCurrentLoadingPhrase] = useState(
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WITTY_LOADING_PHRASES[0],
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);
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const phraseIntervalRef = useRef<NodeJS.Timeout | null>(null);
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useEffect(() => {
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if (isWaiting) {
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setCurrentLoadingPhrase('Waiting for user confirmation...');
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if (phraseIntervalRef.current) {
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clearInterval(phraseIntervalRef.current);
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phraseIntervalRef.current = null;
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}
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} else if (isActive) {
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if (phraseIntervalRef.current) {
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clearInterval(phraseIntervalRef.current);
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}
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// Select an initial random phrase
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const initialRandomIndex = Math.floor(
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Math.random() * WITTY_LOADING_PHRASES.length,
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);
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setCurrentLoadingPhrase(WITTY_LOADING_PHRASES[initialRandomIndex]);
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phraseIntervalRef.current = setInterval(() => {
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// Select a new random phrase
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const randomIndex = Math.floor(
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Math.random() * WITTY_LOADING_PHRASES.length,
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);
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setCurrentLoadingPhrase(WITTY_LOADING_PHRASES[randomIndex]);
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}, PHRASE_CHANGE_INTERVAL_MS);
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} else {
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// Idle or other states, clear the phrase interval
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// and reset to the first phrase for next active state.
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if (phraseIntervalRef.current) {
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clearInterval(phraseIntervalRef.current);
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phraseIntervalRef.current = null;
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}
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setCurrentLoadingPhrase(WITTY_LOADING_PHRASES[0]);
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}
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return () => {
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if (phraseIntervalRef.current) {
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clearInterval(phraseIntervalRef.current);
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phraseIntervalRef.current = null;
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}
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};
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}, [isActive, isWaiting]);
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return currentLoadingPhrase;
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};
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